IMG_0024_Facetune_03-06-2019-11-32-32Hey guys,

I have decided to get my s-word together and put a little more structure and a lot more consistency to this beautiful space! Every week there will be two blog post!! (and hopefully a YT video too) I’m going to be doing weekly FLAVorites! (Get it like flavor of the week and and favorites lol) This is going to be an every Monday thing! I’m also going to be doing regular blog post on Wednesdays!

FLAVorites are going to go a little something like this:

My CURRENT FAVORITE of the following:

  • Song and or album
  • Movie or series or doc or podcast (whichever one I’m into at the moment)
  • Item of clothing or accessory
  • Quote of the week

I’m SUPER stoked to share this with you guys!! This feels very ME and very right, Also I want to hear your favorites too, so PLEASE leave them in the comment section, maybe they will become my new favorite too, and make it on the blog! I’ll totally give you credit if they do of course!!

Alright week one FLAVorites LETS GGGOOOO

Bon Iver 22, A Million (album cover ^)

THIS WHOLE FREAKING ALBUM!!!! Its moody in all the right ways, you well feel relaxed, and one with yourself. Bon Iver has such a way of making you feel at ease, and this album in no exception. ITS SO FREAKING COOL!! Its a few year old and I feel like it never got the credit it deserved, so here you go Bon Iver I see you and I hear you hahahah!

How to Listen:

APPLE MUSIC      YOUTUBE         SPOTIFY

 

The Perfection

(WATCH IT ON NETFLIX) Let me just mentally prepare you for this, you are probably going to feel weird for like 3 hours after you watch it, so brace yourself. But this movie is thrilling, has all the twist and turns, plus ALLISON WILLIAMS! This is going to leave you saying WTF!!! I love movies that make you think, ones that you don’t always see coming. I would call this one a little disturbing but its beautiful done.

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Jeffery Campbell Clear Sparkly Slides

If I had a dollar for every time someone complimented these shoes I would be rich lol They are my FAVORITE things!!! They go with everything, can be dressed up or dressed down. I got them at a boutique in Rosemary Beach called Disco (a lot of disco in my life lately lol) But you NEED these shoes in your life!!

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Quote of the Week

“When you start to feel like things could have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that brought you here.
They are not accidents, and those moments were not in vain.
You are not the same. You have grown, and are growing, you are breathing, you are living, you are wrapped in endless boundless grace. And things will get better, there is more to you than yesterday.”
-MHN-

I’ve been feeling lately like I’ve just been spinning my wheels. (lol that sounds so dramatic) But really, Ive been feeling like I’ve been pushing forward in pursing my dreams, and that I’m not getting anywhere, I’m not making a difference, or progressing, and its been wearing on me.  Sometimes I scroll Pinterest at night especially if I’m feeling down. When I stumbled across this quote it brought tears to my eyes, I felt some much truth in it. I hope you can feel it too!

(The poet who wrote this is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES she post super amazing quotes on IG you should follow her! HERE is the link to here IG!)

Okay thank you for letting me share! Let me know your current FLAVorites in the comments below! I hope you enjoyed this!!

OKAY I LOVE YOU HAVE A MAGICAL FABULOUS WEEK!!

-Your friend

TorriSunshine!!!!

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IMG_7654_Facetune_01-05-2019-11-19-58IMG_7737_Facetune_05-05-2019-07-36-12So the day has come, its the end of an era. Let me tell you I LIVED IT UP!! These years were so HARD and beautiful. I smelled all the roses, traveled a ton, met so many incredible souls, let some go too. My hear broke more times then I could count. In my 20’s I lived LOUD, I did whatever I wanted to do! I was spontaneous, careless, aimless, deep, irresponsible, driven, and probably everything in between those words on any given day. I threw a lot of S-word against the wall, probably drank to much, and stayed up to late, definitely didn’t drink enough water, or wear enough sunscreen, but you know what, I think thats what its all about. After navigating the rollercoaster years of my 20’s I have some words of advice.

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20 Lessons I Learned in my 20’s

  1. If you have to force it, its not for you: Relationships, yoga poses, perfect ponytails, jobs. This lesson was probably my HARDEST one. For me personally when it came to friendships, there were so many times I was trying to force a friendship that the other person clearly had no interest in putting effort into. For me that was heart breaking, of all the things I am, a good friend is a defining quality of mine. Heres the thing, you have to stop putting energy into things that ONLY take from you. I’m not saying you have to get something from your relationships, but they SHOULD NOT EVER make you question your worth!
  2. Be INTENTIONAL with your relationships: Just because you vibe with someone does not a friendship make. You have to put time and effort into it, like anything you want. It shouldn’t be difficult, but there are times you are going to have to show up when you are tired, and don’t feel like it. When its inconvenient, but if you want quality friends you have to be a quality friend as well.
  3. Trim your hair REGULARLY: Like every 6 weeks, its the only way it will grow. Sounds counter intuitive but trust me.
  4. Invest in yourself: If you want something it is solely up to YOU to figure it out and make it happen, that means your going to have to invest in yourself. Maybe buy that book on coding if your interested in learning how to code. Buy yourself a camera and start shooting if your interested photography. Invest in the person you want to be and the steps it takes to get there. Write them down.
  5. Thoughts without action will not get you there: This kinda goes with investing in yourself, but it goes even further. Taking action in the direction of where you want to be is so powerful. MAKE THAT PHONE CALL, SEND THAT EMAIL, WAKE UP EARLIER FIT IT IN.
  6. Do not let your fear paralyze you: You know I bought my camera and thought up my TorriSunshine lifestyle blog/influencer stuff like 2 years before I started using it. My only regret is that I would have started sooner! Fear is okay to feel, let it come with you on your journey, but don’t let it drive the car.
  7. You need to be your own best friend: As you get older friends are harder to make and harder to keep. It just takes more effort, which is fine, but you need to know how to sit with yourself and be okay with that. Take yourself out to dinner, get to know yourself. When you are upset of course you can lean on your friends and family but you should also know how to self sooth. People are not ALWAYS going to be readily available and thats TOTALLY OKAY. This lesson was another hard one for me, but super important.
  8. Follow your call: Whatever it is that you feel overly compelled to do, do it. Trust your gut, thats how you live authentically, don’t tell yourself well this is good enough if you can feel deep in your bones that its NOT! If you don’t it will not end well, your only putting off the inevitable, and not setting yourself up for your most amazing life. It will probably be scary, and uncomfortable, but its okay.
  9. Embrace being uncomfortable: Change is uncomfortable, growth is uncomfortable, but it is so necessary. I have found when you lean into the uncomfortable you learn more about what you want, who you are, and you always come out on the other side better for it. I remember when I first started posting everyday it was scary and uncomfortable to put myself out there like that. BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!!! I’m chasing my dream comfortably and I have learned SO SO MUCH!!
  10. You don’t have always to be out doing everything: FOMO isn’t a disease, its more like a virus that you will grow out of! If you would have told even 24 year old Torri that she would be perfectly happy sending Cinco De Mayo sitting at home in a oversized t-shirt, wrapped in a big fluffy blanket she would NEVER believe you. My FOMO resurfaces every now and again, but now I know a treat isn’t a treat if you do it all the time. Quality over quantity, spend your time and money when and where its important.
  11. SPEND YOUR TIME WISELY: Time is the MOST valuable resource in the world, its not something you can get back. Use it WISELY!
  12. SAY YES AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN: I viewed these years as my say yes to everything years, I said yes to new experiences as often as I physically could. It lead me to so much beauty and discovery.
  13. TAKE THE TRIP: Traveling is the only thing you can spend money on that makes you richer. You are never going to have the right amount of money, or the right time off work. JUST GO! You will not regret it!
  14. People will treat you how you let them: Stick up for yourself! There is a line between going with the flow, and being problematic. Find the line set the boundaries and stick up for yourself. There is a time and a way to say things constructively.
  15. Let those grudges GGGOOOO!: As a recovering grudge holder, I just want to say it did nothing for me, AT ALL. Its a lot to carry around, and honestly a lot of work. You don’t have to let it go and let them back into your life, I mean when people show you who they are believe them. But MOVE ON! Take mental note, and distance yourself if needed but don’t carry the hate. Its heavy and it will only weigh you down.
  16. Take care of your skin: Your skin its so so easy to go to sleep with your makeup on I know you’re tired, but wash your face every night and moisturize!!!!!
  17. Read a book: Never spot reading, it opens your mind and can transport you to a different world when this one is a little to much. Reading is one of the most healthy vices you can have.
  18. You can do everything right, be the best friend, best girl friend, you can be the cool girl, you can say and be all the right things, and someone will still not like you, and thats okay: Sometimes you have to know, no matter what you do its not going to change the way a person views you. Guess what, thats there deal, its not yours. Keep it moving and move right along! I remember times where I thought if I were better they would like me more, or if I had said the right thing, or dressed a certain way or listened to different music or WHATEVER! That is CRAZY TALK! You are the best you, and that is your own secret sauce. Its not up to you to make someone like you, as long as you like you thats whats important.
  19. Your parents a regular flawed humans, not super heroes: Hate to break it to you, but your parents are probably going to disappoint you, they are humans who make mistakes all the time, and not actually superman and wonder women. Forgive them anyway, even when its hard.
  20. Be THANKFUL: Gratitude is the essence of happiness. If you are not thankful for your current situation, you will not be blessed with more!

Go to bed earlier, drink less alcohol, wear sunscreen, eat more vegetables, and less carbs, be a good friend, a good listener, and a good talker. Do the right thing when no one is looking. Follow through, and smell the roses. We are only here for a tiny little bit.

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Well its 1 o’clock in the morning and so that means it officially over, I’m 30. Goodbye 20’s you were magical, terrible, beautiful, and I wouldn’t change a thing… well maybe a few things lol jkjk

I love you goodbye!!!

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IMG_1910IMG_1561People always describe your 20’s as the best years of your life, which is true at first. Lets dive in and dissect these pivotal years real quick.

20-22 

Its still cute to beinge  drink 5 nights out of the week and your just getting out of the bumping and grinding at the club stage.

22-25

You know just throwing things at the wall seeing what sticks, if anything even sticks.

26-30

OMG OMG MAKE IT STOP!! Make all the big decisions find your career NOW like NOW you do not have time to throw stuff at the wall anymore, or you will be a poor loser.  AAHHHH!!!!!!

You know around 26-30ish is usually when the depression starts. Its like WHAM BAM MAKE ALL THE LIFE DECISIONS. Its the time  people stop telling you, oh you’re young you have plenty of time. People start saying “Ohhh” when you tell them your age. (lollll Its funny but its not) It just feels so isolating, because you are no longer part of a mass. You aren’t in school anymore, you aren’t a part of the mom club yet so you don’t belong there. All your friends have either moved or you’ve lost touch. I mean you still talk on the phone, but everyone has these careers and new lives in places far away, and lets just say it. You are no longer a part of there everyday. It stings, and if the loneliness goes on for longer it aches, and after much longer it becomes a deep ringing in your soul, that you can hear and feel. after that you get a numbness, everything is dull colors, things you once loved, your feelings. Then the questions start.

Who am I? You used to know. and now things have lost there significants. It almost feels as nothing matters anymore, in fact you don’t matter anymore. Its like every morning you open your eyes with a stack of encyclopedias on your chest and have to force yourself out of bed and sometimes the weight is just to heavy;  you can barley breath. Some days you don’t have a choice, so you must force yourself up.  As the day goes on you, feel like you are in a deep dark hole under ground, with only your head sticking out, and you are barley hanging on by your finger tips and your feet are flailing around kicking the darkness and your finger tips are clinching the earth for dear life because you are about to slip in the hole of darkness. And some days you do slip, and all you can feel is the darkness; some days you get a leg out. But every morning you wake up with the encyclopedias and its hard to breath, and you are in the dark hole and your finger tips hurt.

Its a constant battle. How are we supposed to make sense of everything thats ever happened in our lives? How come no one talks about this chunk of life where you are supposed to have the basic answers to the questions that the girl who went to the same high school as you asks in the dark corner of the dive bar, in town, when everyone is home for the holidays. How come the sense of failing is so heightened. How come you don’t have the kind of friends anymore that can be at your house in 10 minutes, at the drop of a hat. Why do you feel the pressure to change yourself completely but feel guilty for leaving your old self behind too. Why is it so hard to connect. It used to be so easy. What do you want to do, who do you want to be? It seems like everyone else knows already.

So you pick something, or an opportunity falls in your lap, and you’re living your life. You are tired all the time, and stressed, pretty soon you are just going through the motions. Everyday feels the same. You are treading water, you are lonely, and you feel so guilty. What do you have to complain about? So many people have it so much worse, and that only makes you feel even more pitiful, an pathetic.

Coming from me this probably seems a little surprising, people always think I’m so positive and happy, which at the core of my soul I am. As I’ve had these open conversations, a lot of people who I would have never guessed feel this way too. Luckily I have been ale to pull myself out of these times that have popped up in my life. I write this to start an conversation, and hopefully to let others know you are not alone! It gets better and there is light after darkness. (Here are a few things that have helped me, this has been a long process and all easy said then done.)

  • BE STILL– Part of growing up is being your own best friend, that means being a good friend to yourself. Get to know yourself. Sometimes you need to go through these motions and feel all the things you’ve been trying to push off. Its best to feel what you’re feeling journal it and move on. And in the words of Chris Crocker don’t forget to “TREAT YO SELF”
  • FIND A NEW OUTLET/HOBBY/PASSION AND POUR YOURSELF INTO IT– You know for me its this blog, and photography and video editing. It doesn’t even have to be something you are passionate about necessarily but something you have an interest in. Also don’t give me any excuses. If you can’t afford it get resourceful, reach out to someone who could help you out!
  • FIND A TRIBE– This is the most important in my opinion, but also the most difficult. It takes time, trial and error, and patients. Once you have found a tribe of people who have your best interest, who love and support you, it can be world changing. (I’m going to be doing a post about adult friendships super soon) the internet can be super helpful in this department.IMG_1290bikeride

If you have been feeling this way please do not hesitate to reach out, I will always be an ear for those who need it. I hope this starts a conversation of something that seems so taboo. Thank you guys for letting me be vulnerable with you, and for allowing me to show a different side of the sunshine I try and radiate everyday. The next post will not so dark I promise. Remember it does get better and I love you!!!!

IMG_1780So I feel like I owe an explanation, I didn’t mean this much time to pass, and also my head has been all jumbled up with life lately, none of which is of much importance. Sometimes I get really sad to be honest, I think being an adult is actually really lonely at times. Anyway thats my spill about that, as simple and complex as that answer is.

IMG_1816BUT IM BACK! I’m going to commit to posting on TorriSunshine at least once and maybe twice a week! With that being said, I thought this might be a good time to get to know me a little better, and figure out more of who I am, and what it is I’m trying to do here on TorriSunshine.

Here are some questions and answers in myspace bulletin or those annoying Facebook status form:

Whats the point of Torri Sunshine? to create, connect, relate, share helpful tips, and to have something for myself, an outlet. To help others in the process, of sharing.

What’s your favorite word? ambivalent

What is your favorite cheese? Gruyere with a mocha crust

What is Torri Sunshine? A safe beautiful place for inspiration, and genuine honest opinions, a place for the lovers and dreamers of the world to get lost for a minute.

Who is the fourth person on your missed calls? My sister lol

You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. Sun-dried tomatoes, avocado, prosciutto, smoked gouda a little oil and vinegar on rosemary focaccia bread 🙂 🙂 🙂 

What made you decide to start Torri Sunshine? Honestly, completely, honestly, being lonely; and having the soul crushing thirst for creating something beautiful and real.

What’s a saying you say a lot? “You see the thing is”

What did the last text message on your phone say? “That bearded man was perfect” lol this was a message to me, not from me.

Who would you really like to just punch in the face? my boyfriend sometimes but I’m so obsessed with him I could never I’d feel to bad lol I’m around him the most so its not his fault! He’s the best… sometimes lollll

Alright see you guys soon! I love and miss you!!IMG_2798

 

episode-52-1024The first time I ever heard of The Moth was on my favorite show! It’s no secret that the show Girls on HBO is probably one the the things I cherish the most in this whole world! I even embarrassingly created a FB group to connect with other girls who loved the show. lol! I know, I’m lame! (If you want in click > Girls Who Watch Girls…The TV Show) Anyways! I saw this episode where Hannah got on this stage and bared her soul, by telling a true story, in in front of a ton of people at this place called The Moth. It was so beautiful to me. So I did what everyone does when they don’t understand something, I googled it, and I was fascinated by what I found. And I knew right then and there, I HAD to go!

(The pic below is RIGHT before my first Moth experience in New Orleans)IMG_1849

The Moth has been around since 1997. They have events in bigger cities, held once a month. At these open-mic-style events there is one topic which is announced 3 months in advance. The topics are usually one-to-two words, and sort of up for interpretation. They are all something that humans, by nature, experience in some capacity or another. For example the next upcoming months topics (in most locations) are, “Fresh“, “Karma“, “Cheating“. They call these events “StorySLAMS“. People come prepared with a 5 minute TRUE story on the given topic, and the hopeful story-tellers all place their names in a hat. The Moth draws from those names, and 10 people are chosen. The names drawn are the story-tellers for the night. They each get up, one by one, stand on stage and pour their heart out, with experience and truth. There are also 3 judges in the audience, picked at random. Sometimes in teams of two and sometimes just 3 separate people. Judges simply hold up a number that can be seen from the audience to the stage, and it is recorded on stage the old fashion way, hand to paper.  The judging and winning isn’t important though, it’s the  getting up and sharing. That is the real prize. Everyone in attendance can feel it too. However, after 10 StorySLAMS in a city, they have a GrandSLAM Championship, where each winner steps on a bigger stage and again bares all. The only real prize to win is human connection. It’s beautiful, in every sense of the word.IMG_2046 2-2

If you live in the Panhandle of Florida, like myself, the closest cities with The Moth are New Orleans, (3 hours Pensacola, 5 hours from Panama City Beach) or Atlanta (5 hours from Pensacola or Panama City Beach) On The Moth’s Website, is a full list of cities where you can search for events! As I said before, they are in bigger cities all over the country!IMG_3223-2IMG_4313-2IMG_9719

New Orleans is closest to me! 3 hours, not too bad! The GrandSLAM was the next event The Moth had up, so I just had to go! I bought tickets, booked a room at my favorite hotel in Nola, and convinced my mom to come with! We had a magical experience at The Joy Theater. We drank champagne, and listened to stories from people of all different ethnicities and ages, 21-87. The girl who runs The Moth Nola was soooo freaking funny!!! All the stories were so special! We laughed, teared up, and felt almost every emotion. Leaving the theater, I remember feeling buzzed off human connection. It really says something about humans in general, that although we are all so different, with different families, friends and cultures, we all experience the same range of emotions, and that somehow we are all connected. The Moth is really about The Human Experience.

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The Moth made me grateful to be alive, and I hope you make it a point to experience it. I’m thinking of entering next time! Let me know what you think about The Moth, and if you’ve seen that Girls episode I’m referring to! Or even if you watch Girls at all! I really hope you look into The Moth and if you ever want to go, I AM SO DOWN! Seriously, hit me up! Well, I love you! I’m going to leave you with some super cute New Orleans pictures of my FAVORITE hotel The Catahoula!

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Last, but not least, here’s a super cute pic of my mom!!

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Okay, I love you BBYYYEE!