IMG_1910IMG_1561People always describe your 20’s as the best years of your life, which is true at first. Lets dive in and dissect these pivotal years real quick.

20-22 

Its still cute to beinge  drink 5 nights out of the week and your just getting out of the bumping and grinding at the club stage.

22-25

You know just throwing things at the wall seeing what sticks, if anything even sticks.

26-30

OMG OMG MAKE IT STOP!! Make all the big decisions find your career NOW like NOW you do not have time to throw stuff at the wall anymore, or you will be a poor loser.  AAHHHH!!!!!!

You know around 26-30ish is usually when the depression starts. Its like WHAM BAM MAKE ALL THE LIFE DECISIONS. Its the time  people stop telling you, oh you’re young you have plenty of time. People start saying “Ohhh” when you tell them your age. (lollll Its funny but its not) It just feels so isolating, because you are no longer part of a mass. You aren’t in school anymore, you aren’t a part of the mom club yet so you don’t belong there. All your friends have either moved or you’ve lost touch. I mean you still talk on the phone, but everyone has these careers and new lives in places far away, and lets just say it. You are no longer a part of there everyday. It stings, and if the loneliness goes on for longer it aches, and after much longer it becomes a deep ringing in your soul, that you can hear and feel. after that you get a numbness, everything is dull colors, things you once loved, your feelings. Then the questions start.

Who am I? You used to know. and now things have lost there significants. It almost feels as nothing matters anymore, in fact you don’t matter anymore. Its like every morning you open your eyes with a stack of encyclopedias on your chest and have to force yourself out of bed and sometimes the weight is just to heavy;  you can barley breath. Some days you don’t have a choice, so you must force yourself up.  As the day goes on you, feel like you are in a deep dark hole under ground, with only your head sticking out, and you are barley hanging on by your finger tips and your feet are flailing around kicking the darkness and your finger tips are clinching the earth for dear life because you are about to slip in the hole of darkness. And some days you do slip, and all you can feel is the darkness; some days you get a leg out. But every morning you wake up with the encyclopedias and its hard to breath, and you are in the dark hole and your finger tips hurt.

Its a constant battle. How are we supposed to make sense of everything thats ever happened in our lives? How come no one talks about this chunk of life where you are supposed to have the basic answers to the questions that the girl who went to the same high school as you asks in the dark corner of the dive bar, in town, when everyone is home for the holidays. How come the sense of failing is so heightened. How come you don’t have the kind of friends anymore that can be at your house in 10 minutes, at the drop of a hat. Why do you feel the pressure to change yourself completely but feel guilty for leaving your old self behind too. Why is it so hard to connect. It used to be so easy. What do you want to do, who do you want to be? It seems like everyone else knows already.

So you pick something, or an opportunity falls in your lap, and you’re living your life. You are tired all the time, and stressed, pretty soon you are just going through the motions. Everyday feels the same. You are treading water, you are lonely, and you feel so guilty. What do you have to complain about? So many people have it so much worse, and that only makes you feel even more pitiful, an pathetic.

Coming from me this probably seems a little surprising, people always think I’m so positive and happy, which at the core of my soul I am. As I’ve had these open conversations, a lot of people who I would have never guessed feel this way too. Luckily I have been ale to pull myself out of these times that have popped up in my life. I write this to start an conversation, and hopefully to let others know you are not alone! It gets better and there is light after darkness. (Here are a few things that have helped me, this has been a long process and all easy said then done.)

  • BE STILL– Part of growing up is being your own best friend, that means being a good friend to yourself. Get to know yourself. Sometimes you need to go through these motions and feel all the things you’ve been trying to push off. Its best to feel what you’re feeling journal it and move on. And in the words of Chris Crocker don’t forget to “TREAT YO SELF”
  • FIND A NEW OUTLET/HOBBY/PASSION AND POUR YOURSELF INTO IT– You know for me its this blog, and photography and video editing. It doesn’t even have to be something you are passionate about necessarily but something you have an interest in. Also don’t give me any excuses. If you can’t afford it get resourceful, reach out to someone who could help you out!
  • FIND A TRIBE– This is the most important in my opinion, but also the most difficult. It takes time, trial and error, and patients. Once you have found a tribe of people who have your best interest, who love and support you, it can be world changing. (I’m going to be doing a post about adult friendships super soon) the internet can be super helpful in this department.IMG_1290bikeride

If you have been feeling this way please do not hesitate to reach out, I will always be an ear for those who need it. I hope this starts a conversation of something that seems so taboo. Thank you guys for letting me be vulnerable with you, and for allowing me to show a different side of the sunshine I try and radiate everyday. The next post will not so dark I promise. Remember it does get better and I love you!!!!

So I do this blog to give others helpful tips and tricks, and to share beneficial experiences, the ultimate goal is so you guys get something out of it. I don’t want to sit here and talk about myself. With that being said I am STRUGGLING this week, not to gush on, and on, about how I have the best friends ever; but I’m going to do my best, and tell you guys how to do a 30a birthday. (because our weekend was pretty close to perfect!)

First though let me introduce to you the birthday girl/bride to be/best dancer in the world/best friend everrrr Kaitlyn! IMG_5085IMG_5587IMG_5367 I KNOW I KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT IS SHE?!?!

okay I’ll get to the tips!

  • BIKES! Bring them or rent them how ever you can, but on 30a they are a MUST for a sorta of celebratory event! Not only is everything close enough to bike to (for the most part) But you can stop a long the way for food, and drinks! Or in our case bring the Rośe and take swigs out of the bottle along the way! (which leads me to my next tip!)IMG_5219IMG-2281IMG_5241
  • Open Container Law! So I don’t know if you knew this but Seaside and Rosemary beach are both magically considered “Resort Communities” So what does this mean?! BOOZE IS FAR GAME EVERYWHERE! Feel free to walk around with wine beer or even BOTTLES of Rośe!!!!!!!
  • Start the day with CHAMPAGNE! Nothing says celebration time like CHAMPAGNE, you know champagne is such a fun word to say. I love the way it rolls off the tongue and fizzles in my stomach. There really isn’t a better way to start the day!!! I mean look at all the fun!!!!IMG_5270IMG_5282IMG_5286IMG_5296
  • RESTUARANT HOP! We hooped on bikes and stopped and restaurants along the way got an appetizer and drinks all along the way! It is the way to do it!!!IMG_5304IMG_5326IMG_5480
  • DO NOT miss a sunset!!! We accidentally missed it on our first night, so the second night we were bound and determined. We picked up some yummy Rośe at that cute grocery store, and after a short nap, headed over from across the street to watch. This was one of our most favorite times. We laughed sipped and watched a heart stopping pink sky, that matched our Rośe. I’m all smiles just thinking about it!IMG-2314IMG-2271IMG_5499IMG_5509IMG_5525IMG_5518IMG_5521IMG_5538IMG_5540IMG-2313IMG_5491IMG_5494IMG_5495
  • DO hit the stores! All the stores have unique offerings, Its so much fun to look. I know shopping can sometimes be a bore or feel like a pause in celebration, but not these guys! The Sundog Book Store is enchanting. Kelley and I were just talking how calming and beautiful all the stores are, especially that book store, it makes time stand still. Also upstairs is Central Square Records and it is so so cool! The Art of Simple is probably one if the best stores everrr!!! They have the CUTEST STUFF!!!! OMG I WANT EVERYTHINGGG!! I’d like to met there buyer because the taste of that human is impeccable!!!!!!!!! Modica Market is also THE WORLDS CUTEST GROCERY STORE!!! You know those stores you could just spend FOREVER in? These are perfect examples! Of all the seaside shops these are my FAV’S!IMG_5361IMG_5363IMG_5411IMG_5452IMG-2230 (PERFECT FOR THIS BRIDE!^)IMG_5355IMG_5391IMG_5392IMG_5398IMG_5410IMG_5406IMG-2317IMG_5436IMG_5430IMG-2228

(one of our good friends works at this vineyard!!!!!!)

Now that I have picture OVERLOADED YOU! We are going to move onto Restaurant and Bar MUST DO’S!IMG_5612IMG_5600IMG_5575IMG_5604IMG_5571

  • Le Crema!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG CHOCOLATE FONDUUUUUU WITH A PEANUT BUTTER SWIRLLLLL!!!!!! I have DREAMS about this place, and the fondu!! Also the hot sipping chocolate! Seriously this is my favorite place in the world!!! Its in Rosemary Beach and it is a slice of HEAVEN!!!!!
  • The Pearl! Also in Rosemary Beach, The Pearl is a BEAUTIFULLLL boutique hotel, with one of my favorite bars ever! They have the cutest outside fire pits and cabanas, also the bar inside is gorgeous as well. The change the cocktail list often and the drinks are always yummy and strong!IMG_5123IMG_5128 These are at the inside bar, but trust me outside is to die for!!!
  • Fonville Press! So I saw this place spring up last year, and finally got the chance to check it out a few months ago. Not only are the aesthetics superb, but the food and coffee is a 10/10! It was the perfect spot for a final meal and goodbye to a beautiful weekend.IMG_5868IMG_586580A715E2-83DD-41AB-B3B4-972FA2712F9BIMG-2318IMG_5877IMG_5887IMG_5891IMG_5893IMG_5895IMG_5898IMG_5916IMG_5909IMG_5953IMG_5977IMG_5972IMG_5998    IMG_5901Okay so those are my tips for celebrating a 30a birthday! Now I am going to throw in any other cute pic’s I didn’t get the chance to throw in here!   IMG-2278IMG_5307IMG-2279IMG_5069IMG_5116IMG_5207IMG_5388IMG_5660IMG_5311IMG_5343IMG_5486IMG_5596IMG_5676IMG_5679IMG_5751IMG_5768IMG_5779IMG_5797IMG_5839IMG_5840IMG_5848IMG_5850IMG_5854IMG_5862IMG_5863IMG-2280  One last thing before we part. May we never get too old and boring to try on each others clothes and shoes while we eat macaroni drinking wine and dance at 2AM! Alright I love you!!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!

IMG_2119IMG_3985okay okay okay…. before you say it I’m going to, YES I really am that extra!!! Chances are you’ve probably heard of Riverdale, and if you haven’t WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? Seriously go turn on your Netflix right meow!

The show is very loosely based off the Archie comics, which hold a special place in my heart. When I was around 5ish My dad used to take my sister and I to a little place called Coopers Drugs, a tiny drug store that also sold comics, my sister and I would always get the Archie comics. That place felt like it was stuck in a different decade even back then.

Anyway, I love this show #teambetty #bughead hahah SORRY had to get that out so you know where I stand and all! When season 2 was going to premiere I KNEW I had to throw the most epic Riverdale party there ever was!!!!! When Pinterest and google failed me it was up to me!!

IMG_3972IMG_3979I KNEW I had to had Pop’s inspired food! That meant Milk Shakes, Fries, and burgers (but in this case I though sliders would be cuter and more appropriate party food!) Ordered the food baskets and red an white checkered liner paper off amazon! The old school cake stand is from Walmart only $10!IMG_4049IMG_3942

How cute were these food baskets!! I made simple basic sliders, baked a bag of 5lb fries they were delish though. If you guys would like the burger recipe comment down below and let me know!

Moving on to the Milk Shakes, were spiked DUH; Vanilla ice-cream, Chocolate syrup, frozen strawberries, vanilla extract, a little milk, and raspberry vodka!!!!! (Ordered the Milk shake glasses and straws from amazon!)IMG_4230IMG_2105

I knew I had to make Jughead crowns, and Josey and the Pussy Cat doll ears! I made them both out of poster board, paint, a glue gun, and headbands! I even attached bobby pins to each crown so they would be secure for pictures! Everyone watched the show in either a crown or ears of their choice! It was so fun to see everyone all decked out!!!!!

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The Shirts were pretty simple and super fun to make! I thought about doing iron on letters but that was getting expensive, so I opted for stencils and black paint. I got a pack of white big tee’s at Target, thought of cute clever things from the show and went to town. I didn’t want to put anyones specific first names on them because that just seemed a little basic to me. This was one of my fav parts! The shirts said : DARK BETTY, SOUTHSIDE SERPENT, BUGHEAD, BLOSSOM, ARCHIEKINS, SECRETS & SINS, HBIC, MAPLE RED

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SO WORTH IT!!!! These were so fun to make and so much fun to pick out!

For the photo background, or in technical terms “step and repeat” I ordered the gold ballon letters off esty, and the blue back drop off amazon! It looked magical!!!! So perfect!!!IMG_4009-2IMG_2129IMG_2131 3IMG_2121 3

Then I KNEW we NEEDED Riverdale inspired cocktails!!! I phoned a couple bartenders and with a little help from google came up with these! They were a HIT! The Blue and Gold was so popular there wasn’t even ANY left for the picture!

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Getting to watch together and talk on all the commercial breaks, was probably the best part of all! We talked about our favorite characters, and the episode as it was happening and just being together! Honestly the best part was just being with these babes! We had all the laughs took all the pictures and I had all the warm fuzzies!IMG_4214IMG_4213IMG_4093IMG_4041IMG_2117IMG_2129IMG_2135 2IMG_4083IMG_2064IMG_2070

From my squad to yours PEACE LOVE AND JUGHEAD!!!!!

Its the BEST time of year, FALL, also its the magical month of October!! This is my favorite month, probably. The weather (for the most part) is AMAZINNNGG! The clothes are to dye for, and PUMPKIN EVERYTHINGGGG! Its like the weathers way of waving good bye to summer, and its so special and beautiful! I LOVE watching the new trends emerge with every season change, and the 2017 Fall Trends have not disappointed, just look, and prepare to FALL in love! (<bahahhaha I am so sorry that was a little to much wasn’t it, I mean I just cringed)

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Two words…Crushed Velvet I even like saying that, it makes me feel all warm and mushy inside. The eye catching texture, the warmth, the 70’s vibe, IT ALL HAS ME DROOLING! The fact this trend is in full effect, has my heart FULL!!! IMG_2759IMG_1816FullSizeRender The two dreamy crushed tops, from Luca and Grae! Click HERE for the taupe top, and HERE for the mauve

IMG_1950  Okay so next trend I’m obsessed with is Peplum Tops. Peplum tops(not Peblem as I just found out I’ve been pronouncing this wrong my whole life!)  have made a huge come back I remember when these were the thing back in the day! They are so comfy, flirty, can be dressed up, or down and I am here for them! (get this one by clicking HERE)IMG_1830IMG_2935IMG_1904This next one has me ssooo exciteddd! Bag sleeves! I know the name doesn’t sound to appealing but TRUST ME, this gives a chic look to an everyday top. The one I’m wearing is probably my favorite piece in my closet right now. Its elegant, dressy, casual, simple but different. If you want to be comfortable, stylish, and get all the complements, this is it! The one I own is literally the SOFTEST thing everrr!! HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend.

Click HERE for your new favorite item of clothing lol jk but for real its mine!IMG_1913IMG_1910IMG_1908IMG_1905

Okay so lets talk shoes! The fall trend I’m obsessing over is textured slip-ons! You NEED a pair of slip-ons! You know its not quite cold enough to wear boots but breeze enough to need your feet covered, this is where slip-ons come in as the answer to all of your prayers, and trust me these SILK khaki green beauties give me LIFE! I saw them in target didn’t get them, then dreamed about these babies for a week straight. After a week of longing, I drove my happy self on over to target, apologized for my mistake of not getting them the second I saw them, and I have worn them ssssoooo much! They are the perfect fall shoe! (Click HERE for these shoes!)IMG_3130

OKAY! So there you have it! My favorite season of clothes has arrived!!! Comment down below which one was your favorite? I hope you enjoyed all this Happy Fall, now go get a PSL and buy all the cute fall clothes!

I love you bbyyyee!!!!IMG_1813

IMG_1780So I feel like I owe an explanation, I didn’t mean this much time to pass, and also my head has been all jumbled up with life lately, none of which is of much importance. Sometimes I get really sad to be honest, I think being an adult is actually really lonely at times. Anyway thats my spill about that, as simple and complex as that answer is.

IMG_1816BUT IM BACK! I’m going to commit to posting on TorriSunshine at least once and maybe twice a week! With that being said, I thought this might be a good time to get to know me a little better, and figure out more of who I am, and what it is I’m trying to do here on TorriSunshine.

Here are some questions and answers in myspace bulletin or those annoying Facebook status form:

Whats the point of Torri Sunshine? to create, connect, relate, share helpful tips, and to have something for myself, an outlet. To help others in the process, of sharing.

What’s your favorite word? ambivalent

What is your favorite cheese? Gruyere with a mocha crust

What is Torri Sunshine? A safe beautiful place for inspiration, and genuine honest opinions, a place for the lovers and dreamers of the world to get lost for a minute.

Who is the fourth person on your missed calls? My sister lol

You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. Sun-dried tomatoes, avocado, prosciutto, smoked gouda a little oil and vinegar on rosemary focaccia bread 🙂 🙂 🙂 

What made you decide to start Torri Sunshine? Honestly, completely, honestly, being lonely; and having the soul crushing thirst for creating something beautiful and real.

What’s a saying you say a lot? “You see the thing is”

What did the last text message on your phone say? “That bearded man was perfect” lol this was a message to me, not from me.

Who would you really like to just punch in the face? my boyfriend sometimes but I’m so obsessed with him I could never I’d feel to bad lol I’m around him the most so its not his fault! He’s the best… sometimes lollll

Alright see you guys soon! I love and miss you!!IMG_2798