So the day has come, its the end of an era. Let me tell you I LIVED IT UP!! These years were so HARD and beautiful. I smelled all the roses, traveled a ton, met so many incredible souls, let some go too. My hear broke more times then I could count. In my 20’s I lived LOUD, I did whatever I wanted to do! I was spontaneous, careless, aimless, deep, irresponsible, driven, and probably everything in between those words on any given day. I threw a lot of S-word against the wall, probably drank to much, and stayed up to late, definitely didn’t drink enough water, or wear enough sunscreen, but you know what, I think thats what its all about. After navigating the rollercoaster years of my 20’s I have some words of advice.
20 Lessons I Learned in my 20’s
- If you have to force it, its not for you: Relationships, yoga poses, perfect ponytails, jobs. This lesson was probably my HARDEST one. For me personally when it came to friendships, there were so many times I was trying to force a friendship that the other person clearly had no interest in putting effort into. For me that was heart breaking, of all the things I am, a good friend is a defining quality of mine. Heres the thing, you have to stop putting energy into things that ONLY take from you. I’m not saying you have to get something from your relationships, but they SHOULD NOT EVER make you question your worth!
- Be INTENTIONAL with your relationships: Just because you vibe with someone does not a friendship make. You have to put time and effort into it, like anything you want. It shouldn’t be difficult, but there are times you are going to have to show up when you are tired, and don’t feel like it. When its inconvenient, but if you want quality friends you have to be a quality friend as well.
- Trim your hair REGULARLY: Like every 6 weeks, its the only way it will grow. Sounds counter intuitive but trust me.
- Invest in yourself: If you want something it is solely up to YOU to figure it out and make it happen, that means your going to have to invest in yourself. Maybe buy that book on coding if your interested in learning how to code. Buy yourself a camera and start shooting if your interested photography. Invest in the person you want to be and the steps it takes to get there. Write them down.
- Thoughts without action will not get you there: This kinda goes with investing in yourself, but it goes even further. Taking action in the direction of where you want to be is so powerful. MAKE THAT PHONE CALL, SEND THAT EMAIL, WAKE UP EARLIER FIT IT IN.
- Do not let your fear paralyze you: You know I bought my camera and thought up my TorriSunshine lifestyle blog/influencer stuff like 2 years before I started using it. My only regret is that I would have started sooner! Fear is okay to feel, let it come with you on your journey, but don’t let it drive the car.
- You need to be your own best friend: As you get older friends are harder to make and harder to keep. It just takes more effort, which is fine, but you need to know how to sit with yourself and be okay with that. Take yourself out to dinner, get to know yourself. When you are upset of course you can lean on your friends and family but you should also know how to self sooth. People are not ALWAYS going to be readily available and thats TOTALLY OKAY. This lesson was another hard one for me, but super important.
- Follow your call: Whatever it is that you feel overly compelled to do, do it. Trust your gut, thats how you live authentically, don’t tell yourself well this is good enough if you can feel deep in your bones that its NOT! If you don’t it will not end well, your only putting off the inevitable, and not setting yourself up for your most amazing life. It will probably be scary, and uncomfortable, but its okay.
- Embrace being uncomfortable: Change is uncomfortable, growth is uncomfortable, but it is so necessary. I have found when you lean into the uncomfortable you learn more about what you want, who you are, and you always come out on the other side better for it. I remember when I first started posting everyday it was scary and uncomfortable to put myself out there like that. BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!!! I’m chasing my dream comfortably and I have learned SO SO MUCH!!
- You don’t have always to be out doing everything: FOMO isn’t a disease, its more like a virus that you will grow out of! If you would have told even 24 year old Torri that she would be perfectly happy sending Cinco De Mayo sitting at home in a oversized t-shirt, wrapped in a big fluffy blanket she would NEVER believe you. My FOMO resurfaces every now and again, but now I know a treat isn’t a treat if you do it all the time. Quality over quantity, spend your time and money when and where its important.
- SPEND YOUR TIME WISELY: Time is the MOST valuable resource in the world, its not something you can get back. Use it WISELY!
- SAY YES AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN: I viewed these years as my say yes to everything years, I said yes to new experiences as often as I physically could. It lead me to so much beauty and discovery.
- TAKE THE TRIP: Traveling is the only thing you can spend money on that makes you richer. You are never going to have the right amount of money, or the right time off work. JUST GO! You will not regret it!
- People will treat you how you let them: Stick up for yourself! There is a line between going with the flow, and being problematic. Find the line set the boundaries and stick up for yourself. There is a time and a way to say things constructively.
- Let those grudges GGGOOOO!: As a recovering grudge holder, I just want to say it did nothing for me, AT ALL. Its a lot to carry around, and honestly a lot of work. You don’t have to let it go and let them back into your life, I mean when people show you who they are believe them. But MOVE ON! Take mental note, and distance yourself if needed but don’t carry the hate. Its heavy and it will only weigh you down.
- Take care of your skin: Your skin its so so easy to go to sleep with your makeup on I know you’re tired, but wash your face every night and moisturize!!!!!
- Read a book: Never spot reading, it opens your mind and can transport you to a different world when this one is a little to much. Reading is one of the most healthy vices you can have.
- You can do everything right, be the best friend, best girl friend, you can be the cool girl, you can say and be all the right things, and someone will still not like you, and thats okay: Sometimes you have to know, no matter what you do its not going to change the way a person views you. Guess what, thats there deal, its not yours. Keep it moving and move right along! I remember times where I thought if I were better they would like me more, or if I had said the right thing, or dressed a certain way or listened to different music or WHATEVER! That is CRAZY TALK! You are the best you, and that is your own secret sauce. Its not up to you to make someone like you, as long as you like you thats whats important.
- Your parents a regular flawed humans, not super heroes: Hate to break it to you, but your parents are probably going to disappoint you, they are humans who make mistakes all the time, and not actually superman and wonder women. Forgive them anyway, even when its hard.
- Be THANKFUL: Gratitude is the essence of happiness. If you are not thankful for your current situation, you will not be blessed with more!
Go to bed earlier, drink less alcohol, wear sunscreen, eat more vegetables, and less carbs, be a good friend, a good listener, and a good talker. Do the right thing when no one is looking. Follow through, and smell the roses. We are only here for a tiny little bit.
Well its 1 o’clock in the morning and so that means it officially over, I’m 30. Goodbye 20’s you were magical, terrible, beautiful, and I wouldn’t change a thing… well maybe a few things lol jkjk
I love you goodbye!!!